You should be in pictures!
by sleeperisms
Summary: The Gang agree's to star in a hollywood film, but everyone handles the pressures of being a celebrity differently.[movieverse]
1. Chapter 1

**I dont own transformers but i did stay at a holiday inn express last night. (**thats so corny)

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Following the Death of Megatron, the government managed to keep things hush for about a week. Too many people were there and there was too much evidence being leaked to the public; Home movies, cell phone pictures, you name it, it was on CNN. Since then the Autobots have become media icons, constantly sought after by reporters and paparazzi alike.

Thanks to a deal with the military not to disclose any _further_ national security information, Ratchet, Ironhide and Optimus prime were built a large complex where they could live comfortably, and shielded from the public. Bumblebee stopped in for a visit every couple of days to catch up and rant about Sam's father. With the Decepticons dormant, things seemed to be going well.

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The loud whine of a buzz saw filled the complex. Ratchet was hard at work in his shop, cutting lengths of industrial pipe. Nobody knew what he had been working on for the past week, whatever it was he kept veiled in his personal quarters. Much speculation as to what it was floated around the complex. Ironhide thought it was a sculpture, Optimus was absolutely certain it was some sort of attachment to his vehicle form. Whatever it was, Ratchet wouldn't even talk about it. When the bell rung, nobody was surprised.

It was the end of the month, the time when the eccentric Daniel Goldberg, self proclaimed marketing king, would stop by and pitch endorsement deals to the Autobots. Goldberg had become their manager, of sorts. He was the one who gave the media an 'inside scoop' about anything concerning the Bot's, and was involved in the contracting of the land they now lived on. Ratchet put his work aside, Ironhide stepped out of the firing range and Optimus grudgingly joined them in the entrance hall. When Goldberg entered he was carrying several poster boards under his arm and was alive with his usual loud, exaggerated greetings.

"Ironhide, hey buddy nice to see ya!" He would always jokingly offer a handshake, and more than once Ironhide had the desire to take the humans hand and crush it. "Ratchet my man looking good!" He flashed a thumbs up at the medic who forced a smile. "And who could forget, the chief!" He patted his hand on Optimus's foot several times. "Hello Daniel. It is a pleasure to see you again." Optimus lied. He gestured to the center of the room. "What is it you have for us this month?"

Daniel rubbed his hands together and began to snicker.He put the posterboard's on the floor and left one in his hand, not yet showing the printed side to the Robots. "Okay guys i finally have something you can say yes to.Oh i am really excited about this, i think you will be to." Goldberg smiled widely, being way too enamored with his own idea. "What does Batman have that you don't have?" Ratchet interjected. "Batman is not real, Goldberg." Daniel ignored this remark and proceeded to vocalized a drum roll with his lips that should have ended sooner, and when he stopped and turned the poster board he raised his right hand in the air. "Tada!" On the poster board were complex sketches of some sort of multi-pod car, the Chevrolet logo all over the place.

"Autobots, I give you the Automobile! Now you can get to fighting crime in totally hip, stupid-cool style!" His eyes went wide. "Word up homies!" If one thing could be said about Daniel, it was that he had alot of enthusiasm. Alot.

"Daniel.We don't need a car, we turn into cars." Optimus said, and was joined by Ratchet. "I'm not sure you could liscene the word 'Automobile' either. You are aware that word exists right?" Daniel paused. "Stupid idea, terrible i didnt come up with it myself, damn interns!" He tossed the poster board off to the side. "Okay this next one you are really going to eat up." The next board had a sketch of something that resembled a cross between a guitar and a crossbow.

"No." Optimus said instantly. "But i-" Daniel attempted to explain "No." Optimus did not even want to know. Daniel threw the board down in frustration. "You guys are killing me here!" He began to yell, waving his arms up in the air. "You refuse interviews, you wont go out without a disguise, you wont do anything at all! I hate to say it but your really going to look like some prima-donna's unless you embrace the public!" More out of annoyance than anything, Optimus said "Fine."

Ratchet and Ironhide snapped their heads to face their leader. "What else have you got. We'll do it. But only one thing. Ever." Daniel smiled and jerked out his shoulders, fixing his bow tie. "Okay guys i saved the best for last..." He picked up the third poster board with the words 'TRANSFORMERS:THE MOVIE' painted on. Optimus lowered his head, and in the most defeated tone uttered. "Okay."

Ratchet slammed his head into his palms, Ironhide struggled to keep from screaming. Daniel brought his fist down quickly in victory and winked at Optimus. "You wont regret this chief, i promise!"

If Autobots had any tangible pride, it had all vanished from the room. What remained was a group of very, very scared robots.

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**coming up...**

**Brad pitt screen tests!**

**Sponsorship-crazed bumblebee!**

**and more...**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello, we're the writers" Two men stepped into the complex and walked a fair ways down into the center. One of them was bald, an older man who hadthick glasses and wore a suit. The other was much younger and had long hair. He was dressed casually in sandals, jeans, and a hoodie. 

"Hello, um, Mr. Autobots." The younger man stuttered. It was not everyday he was being towered over by four robots.Bumblebee had come to the complex to give moral support to his comrades. "Well, for the movie we've been writing.Well i mean of course we have been i mean we're writers." The older man interjected. "Why don't you let me handle this, Tyler?" He spoke with more confidence, as if he had pitched hundreds of movies in his lifetime.

"Okay, i want to take you on a journey." He held his hands out, as if trying to set a mood. "Imagine a world-" He looked discontent. "I'm sorry can we do something about these lights?I'm trying to establish an _ambience_." Ratchet nodded. "Sure, just a moment." The Autobot walked away, his feet clanking against the ground very loudly as he disappeared into the complex. There was an ackward silence, the bald man leaned forward and back and tried to think of something to say. Suddenly, all of the lights were cut, and they sat in darkness. "Can you dim them?" He yelled across the room. "We didn't install a dimmer, robots don't need dimmers." Ratchet replied from the shadows. "Fine."

Ratchet's footsteps sounded once more. After another silent moment, Optimus spoke. "Can you start?" The human shook his head. "I'm just waiting for Wrench." Ratchets annoyed voice sounded in the darkness. "Its Ratchet, I've been standing here." The writer let out a nervous laugh.

"Okay, anyways like i was saying Imagine a world where- Whos touching me? Tyler did you touch me?" There was a sound of running across the room, followed by a crash. "I didn't touch you." Tylers voice sounded close. "Then who the- Whatever.Okay so imagine a world ruled by evil koala-" He was interrupted by Ironhide. "I'm sorry but what the hell broke? That was weird."

There was muttering amongst the Bots, the only words that the writers managed to pick up were _'Pepperoni'_, _'Lotion' _and _'Telescope'._ He really didn't want to ask. "Don't you guys have like night vision or something?" Tyler asked, his small voice almost being lost in the large room.

"Oh yeah, duh." Bumblebee switched his optical readout to artificial light and soon the room appeared to him. He took a quick glance around. "Everything seems fine, i mean we don't have alot of things that could just break like that." He continued to look around. "Oh never mind, there it is. The fish tank got knocked over." Nobody said anything. "Wait since when do we have a fish tank?" He then had a terrible realization. "If its broken then that means...Oh my programer! Fish down!Fish down!"

The others only heard the sound of Bumblebee leaping and yelling. Optimus shook his head and sighed audibly. "Look, Human writers, Just leave the premises. We accept your story." The two men tried to find each others hands for a hi-five, but failed. "Absolutely sir, thank you!" The two men wer caught up in their sucess for a moment, but eventually began to look around. "Which way is out?"

Ironhide's Optics changed instantly. "Okay turn around. No no, the other way. Not that way. Okay there. Now walk straight." The writers took very slow steps forward, following Ironhide's directions to the door. "Okay now its right ahead of you." Tyler was in front and put his hands out to find the door. There were no handles. "Go more to the right. Okay now a little bit more. There you go."

"Oh god this is Ridiculous." Ratchet walked back to the control room, and in a few seconds the lights were up. Tyler was at the back of the room, the complete opposite direction from the door. "Ironhide!" Optimus yelled, his loud voice shaking up the humans enough that they made a sprint for the front door. "Okay see ya at the next meeting!" Their speed would have made a kenyan marathon runner look slow.

"Boss when did we get fish?" Ironhide asked, still looking at the door.Optimus gazed out along with him. "I don't know anything anymore."


End file.
